Friday, May 17, 2013

I met the mother of this mother at the CRE

Steve and I were married on February 29th 2008.  Two years later we were blessed with a beautiful daughter Kezia Mary born on 30th March 2010.
In July 2011, I fell pregnant,  and had a scare early on just before we went on holiday, and had to take it easy.  After we returned from our holiday we went for the 12 week scan, we were told that there was something wrong with our baby, but she wasn’t allowed to tell us what was wrong except it had an increased nuchal fold  and we would need to see someone to speak about options (ie termination)  At this stage we didn’t think we could see any arms on our baby.  The next day a Friday I spoke to a midwife on the telephone who arranged for us to have a scan with a consultant on the Monday.   She also told me that it would be better for my baby if it would never be born.  We spent a terrible weekend, I remember praying that the Lord would just take my baby home to be with him. Confronted with these facts and thought s and the Devil attacked me that weekend and it went through my mind to have an abortion as the easy way out, but we knew this was wrong.
Monday morning came and we had our appointment with the consultant.  With the Lords strength and only his we managed to march into the room and the first thing we said was we are not having an abortion.  I think she thought we were mad!!  They found nothing additional wrong with our baby at this scan and it had arms – but most importantly Steve and I fell in love with our baby, in such a deep way.  We were told that our baby would probably self abort by 20 weeks.
At this same time a lady at our church was told that her baby would be very deformed and would be very badly disabled, the day before she was booked in to have an abortion I was able to speak with her and she didn’t go ahead with it.  Today this precious baby girl is alive and well with no problems.
 20 weeks came and we found out it was a boy and he was still alive.  They then told us that our baby would probably not survive to 40 weeks and if he did, not through birth.
After a very worrying pregnancy, on the 31at March 2010, a day after our daughter Kezia  turned 2, our precious son Daniel John was born, but he wasn’t crying.  I was allowed to hold him for a few seconds, then he was taken away and transferred overnight to a specialised hospital.  After many tests the fantastic doctors found out he had a heart problem called Cardiomyopathy, which they treated with medication and at 10 days old we were able bring Daniel home with us.  We were told that he would either grow out of the problem or he would suddenly with no warning pass away. 
At 6 weeks and 6 days Daniel went to be with our Lord and Saviour.  At the same time, Steve had problems at work, my Grandfather became very seriously ill, and my mother became ill, as well as financial problems.  It really felt like the Lord had abandoned us as the world would see it.
When Daniel passed away it was a very traumatic, sudden and sad thing, our lives were shattered.  But I felt a peace that only the Lord can give and really felt the Lord with us and he truly gave us grace to get through each second minute and hour.  I trusted in the fact that our precious son was truly saved by grace and was with the Lord Jesus.
After a period of trusting and leaning on God, there became a period of doubting, and the devil crept in and would temp me with what if Daniel wasn’t in heaven.  One day when we were on holiday we were looking up at the stars and I just prayed Lord if Daniel is in heaven could you please just send a shooting star, well I’m sure you can guess what happened!!! A star shot across the sky.
 
Soon after this I became very, bitter, angry, sad, and was filled with such hatred, and was just coming to chapel for the sake of it, putting on a brave face and reading my bible but not taking anything in.  I felt useless and redundant.  Then one Sunday Micahel Grey preached on Collosians 3 v 23-25 ‘And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not unto men’.  The gist of it was that the Lord has placed you where you are for a reason, and even if we are doing the most menial job it is for the Lord and we should do it heartily unto the Lord.  It helped show me that there was so much I could do for my Lord and Saviour and he had not abandoned me.
At this time I still had horrible and bitter thought running through my head.  I was out for a walk with Kezia and I saw a couple come out of their house, one was holding a small baby, and I thought ‘O how cute , o good I can cope with that’ and gave myself a pat on the back, then I looked at the mother and she had a new born in her arms , and I was filled with such hatred.  The Lord almost stuck me and I realised that I was trying to cope with my grief on my own, and I was not praying for his help to get me through, and I was thought I could cope on my own.  The following Sunday Mr Morlan (our pastor) preached on 2 Corinthinans 10 v5 ‘Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ’.  God’s timing was amazing, how I needed to hear this sermon at that particular time, on how we should give all our thoughts to the Lord, we truly are wretched men without our Lord and Saviour.
 
It will be a year tomorrow since our precious son Daniel passed away.  It is still very hard to cope with, and we have many bad days, we may never know till we get to glory why things happen.  But the Lord is teaching me many many things, to trust wholly in our Saviour, that he is a sovereign and gracious God, and his will is perfect. Also that we should live our lives in the view of eternity, because why should we wish our Daniel back from our Saviour, and I’m sure one glimpse of our Lord Jesus’s face will be worth all of the trials on this earth.  We are so thankful for the precious time we had with Daniel and for the Lord for letting us look after him for those few weeks.   A neighbour of ours who lost a baby many years ago who is also a Christian said to me, you will one day Thank the Lord for allowing this to happen.  I thought that she was mad at the time, but I can now see what she means.  Steve and I pray that Daniels little life will be used mightily of the Lord.    
To God be the glory great thing he has done.

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